Positive mind

Boy doesn't this ring so true. I am still adjusting...yes still ...from the show. Some days I feel defeated others I feel like a million bucks. It is all adjusting. When you workout 6-7x a week and live at the gym - that does it to you. It is finding LIFE again. 

Today is Valentine's Day and the first thing I have to do is love me! And love me in each stage of my progress.
And let me tell you where I am right now is a place that I can grow from, a place I can get fit at, I can only go up from here but down in weight. I don't want to focus solely on the number but the number is bad! But beyond that I am not feeling well...literally I don't feel well in my clothes...
So I booked my trainer 2 days a week and I already have a spin session tomorrow. The workouts keep me sane and I want that for arm and bikini body again...but don't worry no starving myself or working out 6-7 x a week haha.

I do have to get my food back in the control section for sure. Mind over matter. 

So positive I am leading with plus a big side of determination and I will get my will power back! 

Upward and onward! 

The Emotional Diet

I am what 7-8 weeks from my bikini show and due to having a horrible coach, a meal plan that literally wrecked my system up I am having struggles.

Since the show I am up 6lbs - part water, part eating normal food, part boycotting anything that the trainer did to me. 

As the days go on I have come to the point that I have to work through this stuff and admit that he treated me wrong, I paid him to coach me and he damaged me. I am strong enough to admit that. This isn't passing blame but literally accepting and releasing it. The more I talk about the more I release and can get back to me. 

I have gotten back into the swing of things ....kind of. 

I workout 3-5 x a week. Concentrating on HIIT and muscle building. 

Food I have slowly increased my calories up and macros on point. 

Here is the issue because I was given a "meal plan" of pure crap.... 12 almonds and ground turkey and green beans several times a day - I was deprived off so much and what a shitty way to do it.  

So now  I don't want to restrict myself and I am learning to regain my emotional behavior. 

That has lead me into interviewing new trainers and rebuilding my self from a scientific way! And guess what you eat food?? Gasp !!! And fitness and food are part of my life NOT my life. 

This has also lead me to having the right people in my life - supportive people and ones that want to help me not be harmful. One trainer recommended this book to me and I am loving it. It is about living a life that is healthy, happy and trim. The first chapter already captivated me - we are not driven by logic - we are driven by emotion. 
I feel that I have the power to get through this and be the best I have ever been. 
But the first step is admitting that I need to this for me! 
So follow me on my journey of coming back from a bikini show and heading to a life that is a balanced bikini healthy lifestyle. Mind body soul! 

What is a FIT mom???

I was asked what is a FIT mom....

I literally have no clue --- but what I do know is ---what I do day in and day out.

I am a mom.
I am a full time working mom out of the home.
I am a wife.
I am trying to live a healthy lifestyle. 

Being that my schedule is packed from the moment I wake up to the moment I lay down...this life is an organized chaos that is a well balanced lifestyle. 

So as a FIT mom I focus on eatting from home about 90% of the time - what does that mean??? I make breakfast, lunches, dinners for all 4 of us daily/weekly. We pre-plan meals and utilize services like Farm Fresh to you for our fruit and veggies and we started using Hello Fresh as well. We buy a lot of items bulk from sams. 

Working out?? - well I focus on 4-5 days a week at the gym. Now I have to say I utilize our wonderful after school daycare for this. I FIT in the gym and then race to get them to have dinner, homework and family time. What about the Hubs and kiddos? Well the hubs goes before work and the kiddos have PE two days a week and gymnastics. We also enjoy walking to school when we can. Also as a family we try to be active as we can with hiking, bike riding and even kid play zones! 

So what is the key??? Scheduling, balance, FITting it all in. 

I have to say this is a lifestyle ...a journey with no end... Just keep going. 

For me I have to say also having a supportive other half makes this journey worth the time and effort! Common goals and lifestyle! 
We do this because we love ourselves and want to set an example for our children!!!! 

Look I even created my own HIIT workout....a lot in a little amount of time... I should also say 2+ hours in the gym - no way! Nope! That is not a balanced life. I need quality not quantity! 

It works....wraps

So I bit the bullet and I started the wraps!!!! Results to be posted soon! I love this stuff.  

The product is easy and affordable...

I use it on my stomach!!! Will be trying it soon on my legs as well!! 

Do you want to join me....

Have you tried that Crazy Wrap Thing? 


Cooking light

Oh how I have missed cooking...and for my hubs he misses my baking. 

I love to cook. 
I love to try new things. 
I have been storing up my food magazines waiting to be back to normal. 

Because of having such a high protein intake for so long from meat I wanted to find other ways to get in my protein... 

Tonight's menu included 

Clean veggie burgers from cooking light August 2015 magazine...

A whole of natural items and no meat woo hoo. I have decided to try out some meatless meals for my entire family to enjoy. 

Tonight was a big hit...
I layered it with an avocado/salsa verde topping, Ezekiel bread, red onion and pickles. Yum yum - the hubs and kiddos added cheese. 

Easy peasy 

1 can of black beans - I get no or low sodium 
Olive oil 
Shallots/red onion 1/2 
Uncooked quinoa 1/3 cup 
Mushrooms 4oz I used can 
Minced garlic 
Cilantro I used dried 1 tsp
Red chilies 
Cumin 1 tsp
Salt 1 tsp
Chile powder 1/4 tsp
1 large egg 
Tomatillo salsa 

Put 1/2 can of black beans in the oven at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. 

Put in food processor - other 1/2 of beans, all seasonings, chilies, egg and 1/2 of the quinoa uncooked, mushrooms 

In a sauce pen sauté the other 1/2 of the quinoa and shallots. Then add to the food processor. 

Once all of the food is processed put in a bowl and add the 1/2 can of beans from oven in it. 

Divide into 4 patties and put into a pan with olive oil leave for 10 minutes first side and 5 on the other. 


Hiking and burgers

Today we went for an amazing hike - hubs, kiddos and fido! A beautiful day a beautiful view and a beautiful way of life. 

We ended up having a free day so we headed up the hill for a little family time. I love that a lot of what we focus on is staying with our healthy lifestyle. 

We hiked a mere 3.5 mile hike around the lake and just enjoyed the quietness and pure beauty of the lake, the wide open space. 
But the fun didn't end there....we ate at the best burger joint ever... All about balance and yes I ate a cheeseburger OMG so good!!!!

It is about living a balanced life.... 
Healthy lifestyle 

Reality....body image

When you work so hard for something and feel you are 100% good mind body and soul BAM it hits you....

I am so very proud of myself for getting on that stage! I was happy! I am happy! I am proud of myself! I went up there with the biggest smile and determined that I would do it again. 

I indulged for 1.5 days and got right back on a plan. Food and working out...

I love my body.
I love the progress...

Then BAM reality hit - in the form of a picture. 

I have saggy skin on my stomach something that I am/was super self-confidence on and getting on that stage I thought I conquered that well momentarily I didn't. 

There is a very unflattering photo of me published and I cried - literally broke down and cried. Called all the people I know and cried and of course they are biased and made me feel better...

And on that I cannot allow myself to dwell. Because I have come along way and you know what they did post great pictures too.., 

So my moment of upsetness has passed and I will continue to work hard and keep at it... I mean for only being with a trainer for 1 year ever with weight training might take a little more time to reverse the bad behavior I once had...

So to all of those that might feel a little like me - keep going, stay positive,... Be happy! 

Happiness is the key!!!! 
And if the biggest sex icon ever is....

I want to live a balanced bikini lifestyle and I will grace that stage again! 

I did it

Well today was the day...my first bikini competition on 4th of July - Independence Day!!! And I loved it. 
And for this event I went very patriotic! Nails and bathing suit to match the freedom of our country! I am very much all American and country girl for sure!! 

Ashley and I stayed in a hotel down my the venue and we were forced to relax haha because we couldn't eat other then Tupperware and we didn't want to mess up our tan. We got up super early and she did our hair and make up - she is the best and I have to say that we had the package going on!!! I loved it!!! 

Once we got parked and to the check in...guess what I am 5 foot 6 inches what???? I always thought 5foot5inches... Haha so watch out I have an extra inch now! That height still kept me in the bikini medium class - the biggest class of course. 

Then the fun began...my loved ones came to support me... 
My mommy! 
My cousin and her daughter 
My brother and his baby boy 
My mother in law 
My wonderful friend Jason! 
My stud muffin for life 
The reason for everything in life - my babies! 
My father in law 
My wonderful friend and meal prepper Vern.... 

And guess what we finally got a picture together... This lady and I from start to finish... 
With my loved ones there and ready to share me own! Nothing could stop me. I got interviewed and then the stage was waiting for us... I wasn't nervous but excited to get up there. 
Here I am in all of my glory. Yes I have a cooler around my six pack, I have a belly but you know what??? I am so proud of myself., and I will rock this bathing suit today tomorrow and I will continue to get fit!!! I am proud of myself! 
Check out that back pose!!!! I worked hard on those glutes but watch out because I am still going to work on them and come back even better. 

I had an absolute blast! I enjoyed every moment of it... Do I think I am done??? No... Do I want to do another one???? Maybe.... 

But no matter what to end my day feeling  great about myself is the best thing ever. 
This couple has become such amazing friends... The babes and their men! 

We also got a surprise date night.... And our date night consisted of food and laughter! After the show I couldn't wait for an Oreo a peanut butter Oreo....it was really good!!!! Well worth the wait! 

Then it was off to dinner... 
Yes I got a chicken salad and the table made fun of me...in my defense I wanted a salad but it did have blue cheese on it haha... I also had a jalapeño popper and sweet potato fries.... Then it was off to what I have been craving...ice cream - okay frozen yogurt but still.... 
It was oh so yummy. I decided to eat what I want Saturday and Sunday and back to my macros on Monday!!! Nothing will stop me from living a balanced bikini life.

Thank you to everyone for your support and encouragement on the way!!!! 

1 day out

1 day out...can it be??? It seems this journey has been a long time coming yet seems like just yesterday this idea of being in a bikini competition popped into my head. 
This journey will forever be one of the greatest times of my life...I have learned so much about myself and about others through this. Ones that love you, ones that solely support you, ones that talk trash, ones that don't get it but above all I learned that my true family and friends and even complete strangers are beside me rooting me on and encouraging and heck maybe inspiring others to get healthy. 

Things that are done for tomorrow...

Nails ✔️ 
First spray tan coat ✔️
Peeing in a funnel ✔️ (yes can you believe that....no splatter here) 
Cold chicken for breakfast with a side of oats ✔️
Bag packed ✔️
Rinse off about to go down...

I can say I am so very excited for this day! I want to embrace every moment every second. 

As I look back on this journey it has led me to exactly where I need to be - mind body and soul!!! 

I am so proud of myself and cannot wait to continue on with my healthy lifestyle full of fitness, healthy choices, food, family and friends!!! 

Here is to a balanced bikini life!!! 

Chat soon 

A day of food...peak week

As I navigate through my peak week (6 days out) I am doing this food thing on my own. I have had several people help me but ultimately I am going with what I know and how my body reacts to food. 

For today I will drink 2 gallons of water plus about 1400+ calories of food with a macro ratio of 40% protein 25% carbs and 35% fat - all natural foods no sweeteners no protein powders. 

For ease of my life I have a food prep service prepare all of my meals and deliver them to me...check her out Meal Prep Services...amazing - so simple so easy so yummy and very reasonable priced. 

For this week since I cannot have protein powder I am having 6 meals a day based around chicken and filet mignon - I do not eat fish. I will tell you after my competition I will be participating in several meatless meals - I need more variety and less chicken for a while haha. 

So here is my food for the today: 
Breakfast: chicken ~ oatmeal ~ 24 almonds 
Snack: chicken and green beans and my fav peanut butter 
Lunch: chicken salad no dressing YES I keep up with fiber and ruffage to keep my system going
Snack: chicken again and blueberries rice cake and very little pb 
Dinner: guess??? Yeah chicken and veggies 
Snack: oatmeal 

The meals are not horrible but just the same stuff everyday. I enjoy variety in my food and having choices. 

Here is most of my food for the today..I won't bore you with too many pics...I mean chicken is chicken haha.. 

So as I look forward to 1 more meals
today...I hope all of you are enjoying your day. 

Today we did go see the movie Inside Out along with a little walking and shopping with my mom (we did get the girls backpack for school). 

Enjoy relax and chat soon 

Silence....sitting in silence

Saturday morning. 
Pure silence.

Today I am 1 week out from my bikini competition. I cannot believe it is here. I am so excited!!!! 

Today I am up early (dang internal clock) and basking in the joy of it all. My house is still all asleep and I am just beaming from ear to ear about this journey. 

Silence is 
It is a time of reflection and appreciation. 

It is a wonderful thing to be at peace with decisions and choices that have been made. My wise friend told me that sometimes you have to accept the result/outcome even though the means to get there were not what you wanted. 

When you have goals for yourself it is so important to follow them, sometimes you make changes in that path but always remember you should decide the path and course to take - it is your life - your dreams - your plan...

Being content is a very hard word and concept for me (ask my therapist- I struggle with that) but I feel I am living that. Content doesn't mean I stop trying but what that means is I am happy on my journey - the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the spots I have no clue on, you just keep on course. 

Silence is a new appreciation for me not just because of having kids but because my brain goes and goes and goes...slowing down and basking in these moments of silence is another thing I learned on this journey....mind body and soul need to be aligned to achieve happiness...and a balanced bikini! 

Today will soon be up and running soon but in the meantime I am going to continue enjoying this silence and peace... 

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend and OMG 1 week out woo hoo!!!!! 

My path...

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Romans 8:31 NIV

As I sit here 17 days from my first bikini competition I have received so much positive feedback so much praise so much support! 

What I didn't expect was the individuals who want to not support or point out what they don't like about what I am doing.. 

However, GOD has put me on this path. He has guided me in my steps in ways I would have never thought. I NEVeR thought about doing this - me on a stage in a bikini...what?????? No???? 

So why would I do it?? I answered that before ...one that allowed me 2 be FREE of every feeling that I would be my old self of 212lbs on one day! That was my mental break through on this. 

But what is his plan? His plan was for me to inspire others to be healthy to live a healthy lifestyle. To show as a women, a mom, a full time worker outside of the home that we can do this! That I can show people that hard work and determination and a BIG support team will get you through anything. I am a person I am only human..I have failed and gotten right back up and did it again. 

Another thing is I am stepping on that stage 100% appreciating my body and my self! I am letting the world know that extra skin exists, cellulite is there, I have stretch marks! I am a women who loves herself. Now if I can inspire, encourage help many people on this journey I have fulfilled the plan GOD had for me. Have you??? 

So before anyone slams me, disagrees with the path GOD has put me on...always remember the devil works in weird ways too...ponder that!!!! 

3 weeks out....21 days....

Today MARKS 3 weeks out...21 days... the amount of time that I have put in this is getting greater and greater and CLOSER...today my balanced bikini partner WAS so smart to do a full run through. I am the most UNGIRLY girl you will ever find. I love me some diamonds and shopping but make up - I don't wear it and I don't own any of it... So thank heavens for her and a lovely friend Shelby at the gym that helped with that...woo wee..

Spray tan check
Show bikinis check
HIGH heels check 
Hair check
Make up check
Jewelry check

The best part was having my hubs, my babies and several #bfitbeauties watching us!!! It was the first time having a full audience and it felt great to be able to beam down at them and KNOW there were just as proud of me and I was of myself.

This photo makes me so happy. It makes me feel secure in my body and gave me the ability to rid myself of the thoughts that I will wake up and be 200lbs again. I am embracing all that I am and have.

Now I can depict several areas that I still want to improve on but that isnt's stopping me from being happy this moment and to continue to be happy while I keep going.

I sent my photos to several people that have helped me so much on my journey and my cousin...who also competes and is helping with parts of my training sent me this.....

And boy is it true. This close to the deadline and the BIG SHOW I do not want to lose my ground - I want to take every step every measure to keep going.

Today is a happy moment for me and I am going to bask in the glory of it!!!

I have to give a big SHOUT out to the numerous people that have supported me on this journey: FIRST God to give me the ability and strength to do this, my husband for ALWAYS being my rock and loving me fat/fit and all the stages in between, my children for being understanding of my time and for not resisting the healthy eating around the house and for cheering me on non-stop, my mommy who loves and me and calls me beautiful daily and thinks I am perfect the way I am, BYRON my trainer - we have had our ups and downs however you amaze me by your support and overall approach to the stage presence and Hey my first show is where you started, Chad my wonderful cousin who has stepped in and helped me shine and see that my fat self is not returning, the #bfitbeauties and #bfitfamily - the amazing support and love that is felt each and every time I step in the gym or out in my bathing suit is so greatly appreciated, My dear friends/family thank you for still lvoing me as I eat out of tupperware, as I cancel plans (because I am good but the will power to be out and about sometimes is just too much for me) and your overall love and support for me.... I hope each and every one of you can be there to watch me grace the stage.. 

***If I missed anyone I am sorry but know that your love and support do not go unnoticed. 

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As we leave church tonight the word content pops in my head... Joy and happiness. 

Today we are 24 days out from my first (and now maybe not last) bikini competition.

We had a leg day with my balanced bikini friend...it felt good. Along with my solo cArdio in my pjs in my living room. 

And today at this moment I am happy with my body and my progress. Don't let that this even think that I am stopping...I am already talking about future goals...but that can wait...

At this moment this time I am happy. 

Just be happy...

The four week program at church is trust Jesus trust just Jesus...we all know how hard it is for me to TRUST and then to be happy in the now ...wow I am growing up ...mind body and soul