When words hit you to the CORE

Today has been a GREAT day until I picked up the kids and then......

I picked up both kids from after school child care and the boy was on PURPLE woo hoo!! That means he was a super worker today!! High 5's. Now the girl she always a delight at school (and to everyone she meets - except for me). So they wanted gum - I gave it to them (sugar free people).

Then I filled them in on our evening (their father would be working late). So just me and the kiddos. We were going to go the the grocery store, do homework, eat dinner, take a bath and if all went well we would eat ice cream and watch a show before bed time. ALL they had to do was listen.

Then we headed to the store because I need ingredients to bake muffins for the girls softball snack tomorrow. While I was there I got them a treat to go over their ice cream - chocolate chips. As we got home I asked them to get their homework binders out so we could go over their homework while I started dinner - then it happened - the girl erased the boys homework, the boy hid her homework, they started jumping around and above all they were not doing their homework. I asked them very nicely several times to sit down and do their homework - nothing. ICE CREAM is gone.

Finally dinner was ate very quickly with no complaining so I said THANK YOU and we could still enjoy ice cream THEN guess what the boy was farting around while he was reading and the girl was goofing off. My patience is running thin.

WHY do I want to do nice things for them?
DO they think I like yelling at them?
DO they think I like being the one to always make order in our house?
WHY can they not listen - now believe me I don't expect them to be perfect, or angels, or me never have to tell them to STOP or what ever BUT seriously when I have to lay out the schedule, tell them step by step what to do, and then get even more upset I lose it.

I am not perfect.
I am not the best mother.
BUT I always start a new day, a new respect for wanting to love and be with them and argh.....

Well as I type this and the husband is FINALLY home to give me a breath the girl is still crying because she can not understand why she isn't getting ice cream - can someone explain to them that CRYING does not get your way at least in this house>????

Well to clear my head - yeah right - I am sitting here going through emails I come across this.....

Someone has written these beautiful words. Must read and try to understand the deep meaning of it. They are like the ten commandments to follow in life all the time.
 Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout. 

 A Car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rear view Mirror 
is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, Look Ahead and Move on.

 Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write. 

 All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.

 Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!

 Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end! 

 When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

 A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"

When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you. 

WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES, it takes away today's PEACE. 
True words to live by.

I have to LEARN more patience, I have to enjoy every moment and LORD please let me be a positive light in my children's eyes NOT the crazy, bat shit stir crazy whack that I feel like I am at this moment.

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Not to get your - oh u r not fat compliments

Well blogger I seem to lean on you when I am down in the dumps.

I have been eating bad not pushing myself enough and not weighing myself. I know it's even worse when I don't count my points. Starting tomorrow I am back on it hard core. I swear I slip a little then all of a sudden the mountain slide starts- crap. 

Then I feel this is right around the corner....

The obesity era. 

I should not have had that ice cream today or the two yesterday - now I am back to my trusty golden spoon. I had several bits of Mac n cheese tomorrow I am back on mashed cauliflower 
 Now I realize this may be or look extreme to you but it is how I feel. I want to be healthy and yes cheat days are okay but in my life one slip equal a downside to being overweight.

If I want to get to my goal there can be no cheat days there has to be slow and consistent.

I want to weigh less
I want to be more active
I want to be thin 
I want to set healthy examples for my children 

Here is to me being better ( shit I post here because I think no one reads me anymore) haha