One month at a time

We haven't even opened presents yet or celebrated the new year BUT I am starting my resolution now. I am pinning a monthly workout plan. Each month I am going to dedicate myself to doing the exercises a minimum of 3 days a week plus my cardio (I am training for another 1/2 marathon so running is my number one cardio right now along with mixing it up in spinning class). 

So what is my resolution? 

To be the healthiest, fitest, happiest person I can be. 

Along those lines to be more specific is to stop fighting the same 10lbs ALWAYS! 
Firm up my tummy and arms - the ass can stay haha! 
Enjoy myself, be happy with myself! 

So if you are on Pinterest please join me on this journey! I will also find more healthy recipes And keep as true to clean eating as I can handle. On that note I believe that I should only cook one meal a night so it has to be kid and hubby approved! 

So here is to me going from the right to the left - tan is the new thin, right?....

A break

After the 1/2 marathon and endless back pain the week before I have made myself take a week off (minus the 2 mile walk through the Christmas lights). It is giving me much needed rest. This week I have enjoyed a walk through the lights with my fam bam, a night with my mother getting our hair did, a dinner date with my hubs and kids, a night home on the couch watching shows and snuggling with my son. 

All in all I am happy with my decision to just be..... Mentally and physically I feel rested, stronger and ready to start my training once again. 

Yes I already signed up for the next 1/2 marathon! So excited to train harder and longer to beat my time. 

This time around I am focusing on steadiness long with endurance. I have already downloaded a 1/2 marathon training schedule - that starts Monday. Along with "runner" foods.

I have recruited another partner in this as well! Running with someone is one of the 10 amendments of runners (per Pinterest of course). 

So here is to rest then on to kicking my o ass. 

I did it!!!

Well you might not have known but I have been training for my first ever 1/2 marathon. 

The idea of this is beyond what I can even think about. I was like "never" will I run/jog I can't stand that stuff - well once again that NEVER word bit me on the ass.

With training for this over the last few months I have come to enjoy jogging - I am not a runner yet... I enjoy being outside, I enjoy pounding the pavement (it is helpful with good friends, great music and cute workout clothes!!!) 

When I got this notion it went from jogging a little a week to ensuring I hit 50-60 miles a month to hey let's do a 1/2 marathon.

I found one local and all DiVAS!!! The only goal I set for myself was to finish it before the deadline of 3 hours and 30 minutes.

So as the morning of the big day approached and I got my set of our matching outfits on the nerves started kicking in.

 But no matter what I know I had to finish this race! 

This is my good friend and she has been with me since the beginning (and the only one who signed up). We were ready to go with our matching Duck Dynasty shirts (if you haven't seen that show please catch it on a&e).

Well as we started I was doing great the first several miles. I was enjoying myself and knew I could do this....however my nerves were getting me. My stomach was not doing well and it started affecting me. I kept going and going.

With each mile maker I just wanted it to end!! My legs and back were fine but I was ready to see that 13 mile marker! 

On mile 7 - my hubs and children made me so happy - they were on the route waving and sending encouragement! I love them! 

Back through 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and there was 13 THANK YOU lord!!! We picked up our pace and baby we made it! 

I made it!!! I crossed that finish line at 3:12:20 - and I am so happy with it! I finished !! (Now of course my brain goes to the next one and how I can improve).

So all in all I made it, we made it! It made me feel so excited and PROud of myself that I accomplished this! 

Look at my boys face!!! 
Look at the medal...

Now on to Etsy to find me some 13.1 items....


At this point in my life I am finding out I need to find peace. Peace in myself, peace in others, peace in this world of mine.

Romans 12:18 if possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone. 

Peace so how do I find it??? 

Right here....
Spending time with my family of 8. They make me smile, they make laugh, they make me feel true everlasting love - pure joy pure peace.

My inner peace quest is a tough one - especially for my all in all out personality. I can go from over the top happy to so sad in no time flat.

Another item that brings me peace is putting my country station up high and singing off key to Luke Bryan - that's my kind of party!

I am learning to embrace peace - admit that I want it and admit when I don't have it.

Shit getting older makes you think and appreciate stuff so much for.

So as I am listening to Luke right now and finishing this email I look forward to finding internal peace and maybe a night out to shake what I got!!! 

Learning about yourself

Well I have been vacant from this blog once again and I am starting to find out why.

I have been in therapy for about 7 years. I started going when I was having infertility issues, then it was I had two kids, then it was me adjusting to being a wife/a mom/ a full time worker, the list goes on but never really got in to me more of just how I handle whatever was going on in my life at that moment.

Well now for the first time we are talking about ME and man does it suck. Breaking down yourself as a person means you have to face why you do things - things that I have done for years. 

Well out of these intense sessions I cry but most of all I am getting an understanding of me 

So one of the first things that I have learned is that I live in a black and white world...who knew??? Yet I wear those colors on almost a daily basis.

But really what that means is I am an all or nothing person. I don't know how to just be, to just kind of, to just be good enough. 

For example this blog when I started really getting into it - I was writing 5 times a week, I had link ups, I participated in every link up, I did the nail polish exchange, I had ads, I was a clever girl and I was not going to stop....Well I did stop because I found a job that I just loved and so instead of just casually writin when I felt the need (ok I have a few times this year ex: this one haha) I just stopped....dead in my tracks - I didn't write, I didn't read any thing. For me I just didn't do anything at all.

Point two - I wanted a Michael Kors watch. Soooo as of date I now have.....
 Yes that's right 4 in one year ...nothing small.

And truly the list can go on but the funny part is I am realizing that I do that - now others in my life (and they have told me) see it but I didn't it I was just living my life.

Now I don't think or now if I even want to change this - I like living in my black and white world but just maybe with this therapy I can live some parts in the middle zone. 

And with appointments every two weeks we can only hope....

When words hit you to the CORE

Today has been a GREAT day until I picked up the kids and then......

I picked up both kids from after school child care and the boy was on PURPLE woo hoo!! That means he was a super worker today!! High 5's. Now the girl she always a delight at school (and to everyone she meets - except for me). So they wanted gum - I gave it to them (sugar free people).

Then I filled them in on our evening (their father would be working late). So just me and the kiddos. We were going to go the the grocery store, do homework, eat dinner, take a bath and if all went well we would eat ice cream and watch a show before bed time. ALL they had to do was listen.

Then we headed to the store because I need ingredients to bake muffins for the girls softball snack tomorrow. While I was there I got them a treat to go over their ice cream - chocolate chips. As we got home I asked them to get their homework binders out so we could go over their homework while I started dinner - then it happened - the girl erased the boys homework, the boy hid her homework, they started jumping around and above all they were not doing their homework. I asked them very nicely several times to sit down and do their homework - nothing. ICE CREAM is gone.

Finally dinner was ate very quickly with no complaining so I said THANK YOU and we could still enjoy ice cream THEN guess what the boy was farting around while he was reading and the girl was goofing off. My patience is running thin.

WHY do I want to do nice things for them?
DO they think I like yelling at them?
DO they think I like being the one to always make order in our house?
WHY can they not listen - now believe me I don't expect them to be perfect, or angels, or me never have to tell them to STOP or what ever BUT seriously when I have to lay out the schedule, tell them step by step what to do, and then get even more upset I lose it.

I am not perfect.
I am not the best mother.
BUT I always start a new day, a new respect for wanting to love and be with them and argh.....

Well as I type this and the husband is FINALLY home to give me a breath the girl is still crying because she can not understand why she isn't getting ice cream - can someone explain to them that CRYING does not get your way at least in this house>????

Well to clear my head - yeah right - I am sitting here going through emails I come across this.....

Someone has written these beautiful words. Must read and try to understand the deep meaning of it. They are like the ten commandments to follow in life all the time.
 Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout. 

 A Car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rear view Mirror 
is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, Look Ahead and Move on.

 Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write. 

 All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.

 Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!

 Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end! 

 When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

 A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"

When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you. 

WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES, it takes away today's PEACE. 
True words to live by.

I have to LEARN more patience, I have to enjoy every moment and LORD please let me be a positive light in my children's eyes NOT the crazy, bat shit stir crazy whack that I feel like I am at this moment.

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Not to get your - oh u r not fat compliments

Well blogger I seem to lean on you when I am down in the dumps.

I have been eating bad not pushing myself enough and not weighing myself. I know it's even worse when I don't count my points. Starting tomorrow I am back on it hard core. I swear I slip a little then all of a sudden the mountain slide starts- crap. 

Then I feel this is right around the corner....

The obesity era. 

I should not have had that ice cream today or the two yesterday - now I am back to my trusty golden spoon. I had several bits of Mac n cheese tomorrow I am back on mashed cauliflower 
 Now I realize this may be or look extreme to you but it is how I feel. I want to be healthy and yes cheat days are okay but in my life one slip equal a downside to being overweight.

If I want to get to my goal there can be no cheat days there has to be slow and consistent.

I want to weigh less
I want to be more active
I want to be thin 
I want to set healthy examples for my children 

Here is to me being better ( shit I post here because I think no one reads me anymore) haha 

Emotional day

Today is going on day two of emotional crap! Just BS here and there and it finally gets to me. I know for a fact that I am an emotional eater and I enjoyed myself for the 2 minutes that I ate dark chocolate almond bark and sourdough bread (a trip to Tom's Farm will do that to you). 

Well tonight I decided to kiss my honey bunny and kiddos and left with my headphones and cellphone.

I got in a little over 6 miles and it felt great.
My mood was uplifted! I walk in the house to a hubby with a bottle of a water for me and a show I have never seem before Duck Dynasty! OMG I am addicted! Family ran company, wholesome faith, great morals, nice vehicles and crap the hottest wives ever!

The older I get the more I like hilarious no plot or story line shows - I want to sit down (when I get the rare chance) and laugh my ass off!

So I leave you tonight smelling a little bit but getting back to my ole self! 



Well as a mom trying to FIT it all in - I can't seem to fit this blog in at all. Why am I writing now? Well I am waiting in my car outside of a family party waiting for my phone to charge to at least 35% and thought hey what is up in blog land.

Since the last time we have shared life has been nothing short of FULL.

We have enjoyed many laughs, many cries, many vacations and work - oh please I am so slammed but ridiculously happy! 

The most amazing thing is the fact that I have two kids in school at the same school! 
Time is flying by. With my wonderful career I am able to live life with them more. We have been walking to school daily! 

The girl LOVeS school and is so happy to be in her brothers old class. The boy is sitting a group table with all girls - already the ladies man.

In the midst of the summer we also went to the river....

Life has been nothing less then an adventure.

Sneak in a trip to Chicago too...

Life is a blessing that I am learning to never take for granted.

So please bare with me when i come in and out of blog land. 

Why do I workout???

Tonight while I was waiting for our son to finish his dinner - an hour people argh - I thought I would start on my exercise routine. While I was doing my arms and abs he asked, " Mom why do you workout?"

I told him it was so we are healthy and fit so we can live a long life. BUT really I workout for more then that.

I workout to be thin (being fat for most of my life this is important to me)
I workout to be able to walk in any store and try and buy what I want
I workout so on weekends like this one I can have one S'moreo and be okay with that. HOLY MOLY amazing stuff on pinterest. Two oreos, marshmallow and a reese's peanut butter cup.

Last week when I weighed in I am only 3lbs away from my goal but I have gained so much more then just a weight loss goal. I have found fun in exercising, I have found it beyond satisfying to be healthy and fit and shit getting rid of my size 6 pants isn't bad either.

Now I am not perfect by any means - I still feel that my arms jiggle, my tummy is not flat nor tight and my butt goes for miles BUT I am getting better and that is what it is all about.

Here are a few pictures that you might have already seen on instagram (momfittingitallin) but I want you to see them anyway.

We are really trying to live by the WORK HARD PLAY HARDER motto of life...

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What a year looks like

ICan you believe the school year is already over. I will now have a 1st grader and a kindergartener! It blows my mind. With the year over it is hard to see the day to day changes but man how they have changed

The left is his first day of kindergarten and the right is the last day of kindergarten.

Look at the changes!!!
Love them to pieces
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Letter to the 21 me


Dear 21 -

Enjoy being young.
Enjoy being in college.
Enjoy being free of real responsibility
Enjoy being 21 - go drink - go party - don't worry about not sleeping.
Say yes more.
Say no to marriage

To be able to be a young adult - you get this time  period one time take it and run with it.

enjoy that you only have a dog to take are of.
Be carefree
Be young while you can .
Lose weight
Grow out your hAir
Don't be a bitch
Catch you in 12 years

The older wiser you!

As I write this I just think - dang i grow up so fast. Always wanting to be an adult. Always wanting the  next thing.

I hope that my kids enjoy being kids - free.

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Meet Up

On my way home from work today I decided I need to step up my exercise routine. I need to join something that kicks my ass. I drove by a few boot camp locations that I have seen before but nothing grabbed me. My SIL owns her own gym and boot camp but it is so far for me :( - so I am on the look out for something new. I saw a bunch of girls meeting at the local park so I think tomorrow I am going to head down there and get some information - but of course I can not see around and wait.

I started googling local boot camps and ran across a nice group in the MEET UP app. I asked to join (awaiting approval) but I saw they had a walk/jog tonight. I headed out there anyway. The event stated 6:15 and I was a little early. I waited around until close to 6:30 but no one came. I didn't want to waste away my time so I brought out my Couch 2 5k and started it up. The wind was blowing, tears were flowing (my eyes are super sensitive) and my music was pumping and off I went. The trail is pretty nice and busy and well lighted.

As I was racing back from my 1/2 way point it hit me and it hit me hard - I HAD TO PEE soooooo bad. It got so bad I had the notion to soak myself with my water bottle and pee my pants - luckily I didn't have to do that. The building came into view and I literally prayed to GOD that I wouldn't pee my pants. I RAN faster then I have ever ran before straight into the bathroom. I threw my phone and water bottle and just had enough time to pull down my pants - HOLY HELL thank you LORD I made it.

As I walked back to my car I felt very good about my run and can't wait to do it again. I can tell that my endurance is getting better and my breathing not like a large dog.

Not only am I trying to join a walking/woman's group I actually reached out to  a mom I meet in my son's class and we will start walking together weekly as well. I will add weights and off we go - socializing/making new friends and exercise.

Well I am off to finish my workout because 30 minutes on the C25k isn't enough - ask my trainer of a SIL.

Until next time.....
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Oh holy healthy with a side of fat

So this past weekend most of you saw on Instagram that we went on a vacation to Disneyland and it was incredible. If you have a chance to stay at the grand Californian hotel on the 6th floor please do - this is the ultimate way to go. You get all day food, early entry into both parks, nice rooms and access to heated pools and spas. The trip was relaxing and I enjoyed myself. - you can catch NOw time of my life on Instagram :) 

I felt that I walked so much - I was upset that I didn't get to the gym - it was only open from 6am to 8pm what crappy hours. Anyway I wanted to enjoy myself and I did - I returned home to starting my cycle and got on the scale I gained 1.4 lbs - not happy but not mad because I am already back to it. Note I did take my shakes on the trip. 

Well my wonderful husband guess what that man lost weight on vacation - wth??? He ate more then me, he drank and he ate tons of sweets argh men.

This just shows that we should always focus on our health - good food choices, exercise, being active and above all it is ok to cheat a little.

Well after being home a few days and getting back into the routine of life my brother sent me this wonderful picture of 8th grade picture day. 

It makes me want to cry.
It makes me want to ensure I am living a healthy lifestyle.
It makes me want to instill a great life for my kids.
It makes me want to pray that my kids never look back at a fat photo.
Being heavy for a majority of my life is an awful feeling.
Being healthy for the last 6 years is so worth it. 

I am happy.
I am healthy.
I am setting a good example for my family.
I am doing the right thing.
I am continuing with this life.
I am ensuring that we are a healthy family.
I am ME.

Fast and Furious

We are sitting here watching Fast & Furious 5 and I can't get enough of Vin and Paul. I love these movies. Fast, men, cars and no story line.

The hubs and I have to "re-watch" the 5th one because one way or another we will be watching the newest and greatest 6th movie this weekend.

It is funny how the simplest, smallest things can make me happy. Being the holiday weekend we had plans fall through, plans change YET I am happy to just sit here with my honey.

There is a part of me that thinls of those "memorial weekends" pre-kids. Wild, hot, crazy and above all ummmm care free and maybe a little (or a lot) of drinking. Now sometimes I think I would like a weekend again like that - but the recovery is too much - and crap who can I get to watch our kids for an entire holiday weekend?? - Any takers please let me know.

Seriously any takers let us know - we were just discussing we need to find a great teenager/young adult that can be our babysitter/house sitter.

A pointless BUT fun blog to write :)

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Why blog?

I started this blog as an outlet for me. Well over the course of this beautiful blog I have enjoyed writing, enjoyed sharing my life with everyone, met a few amazing people, did a lot of link ups, a few reviews and it has got me through a lot BUT for the past few months I am not Feeling it at all.

I use to eagerly write a post daily, sit up for hours reading the blogs I follow, find new blogs and comment like crazy BUT now I am not.

I think this blog has been here when I need it and right now I am not needing it. I am not sure if I am taking a break or if the blog has fulfilled its goal in my life - I am not sure.

I am sure that I am happy, focusing on being present with myself and my family, persistent on this damn roller coaster of weight loss journey and above all loving my new job.

For now I might be here tomorrow, next week, next month or never only time will tell.

In the meantime I am addicted to Instagram so head over and follow me there


And with this whole Bloglovin thing I am kind of thinking that this is GOD's way of telling me to step back if I want to.

Mother's Day

Remember just the other day I posted this Mother's Day post?? If not go check it out before you read
this one...

My Mother's Day day weekend started out on Friday with a special Muffins with mom treat and my daughters school. I wasn't even scared to log that store bought Blueberry muffin (8 points) because to be able to sit with my daughter and see her just BEAM with excitement for me to be there and VICE VERSA.

As we arrived at school we were welcomed with a cute sign and each mother received a pink Carnation. As we set down it is a time that the kiddos get to show off their mom's and snack - a win win. The matcher in me made sure that my daughter and I both wore Hello Kitty. As I sat there with her I was just overwhelmed with love. How I could have created this little person who is NOW turning into such a bright, beautiful, caring, smart little girl??? HAPPY DANCE!!!

As I hugged her goodbye - she just gave me a kiss and THIS is what being a mom is about.

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Hello Kitty anyone??? - look at the matching poses too

Time and food well spent!!!
Friday night the hubs and kids took me shopping for my present!!! I love me some shopping and MK!! As my watch was  being fitted at Macy's the checker gave me my items and said Happy Mother's Day - I said wait we need to pay for it. With our honesty she gave us a discount 15% baby. Besides a little walking, shopping of course we had to stop for ICE CREAM (frozen yogurt really)
Love Love Love 
We headed home and the hubs and I worked out in the garage - great cardio and he helped me on my arms. After heading to bed about midnight it was nice to be able to sleep in until 730! Oh yes we did!!! We were then up enjoying this wonderful weather. We were packing out snacks for our boat ride of Newport Harbor. This gathering was for me, my mom and my mil. What a great day. It was fun, easy, peaceful and so a thing to do again. We rode around the harbor with my hubs at the controls enjoying our snacks, the views and great company.

my wonderful fam

me and my mom 

the best hubs ever

the men 

crazy drivers
 Saturday night we ended it by hanging out at my grandma's house playing cards then a little fun time with my brother and sil playing UNO - who knew it took over an hour to play one hand.

Sunday we woke up and it was off for a little hiking. We actually hiked with a 1450 foot elevation climb in Big Bear. We hiked 6 miles round trip and kids and parents a like did amazing. It is so great to be active and healthy together. This is what I LOVE to do.
1450 feet up!!! 

Not the best picture but all of us hiking 

me and my babies

Holding up the sign

Oh geez my mom and hubs showing off 
 So as I conclude this weekend I have to say THANK YOU to my mommy. She is the best mother and with out her I would not be who I am today. THANK YOU to my wonderful hubs without you by my side I would not have been the mother I am today - you complete me. THANK YOU to my wonderful mil - you blessed me with the most wonderful husband and to get another mother is a wonderful feeling.

I hope everyone enjoyed their weekends.

What did you do?