|Isn't this attractive?|
|all of my meds|
He gave me TWO shots in the tushy and two breathing machine sessions and I was sent on my way to get more meds. Steroids, antibiotics and inhaler! I am feeling listless, tired and just at little overwhelmed. SO times like this help me decide what is the most important - ME and my family!
So - you ask - where is the Giving Up Control part??? Yes Yes I am getting there.
Here are the areas I have decided TODAY that I can live with out doing and putting more stress on myself and my family and my time:
- Coaching/Team mom - done for now! Once the kids get older and have more choices and thoughts of what they want I will step in again. BUT for now I am done (and that means hubby will be happy). I don't need to control the team, the schedule ANYTHING. I just show up, sit down and veg out!!! I am liking that - can you have wine on the field????
- Side work - I take on "side" work projects to help others, to EVENTUALLY earn extra money but I am done. I enjoy it but it isn't enough to keep me up at nights, away from my family or worry about it. The hardest part on this is going to tell the few companies that I signed up with that I can not do it any longer. I hope they understand (again out of my control).
- My hubby's money - we get allowance EACH of us - do what you want with it I DON'T CARE. Ahh this is feeling so good - release!
- Kids clothing - Okay I am easing up on this. We do pick out the outfits at night but if she wants one shirt verses the other so be it - EXCEPT for pictures and big events - I am just not caring, really I am letting loose here. As for the boy anything Tony Hawk and he doesn't care anyways.
- Trying to be friends with people - If you are my friend you are with me no matter what. If we strike up a conversation and it doesn't come natural - see ya! Family, Friends, Acquaintances, Co-Workers, I don't care who you are - I finally at the age of 32 realize if it isn't going to work it just isn't!!! Case closed (yeah right I am a big softie you be nice to be and I crack :)).
Things that I am going to try!!
- Asking for help! In order to give up control even more I need to start asking or accepting help. PEOPLE I need help this nation of MY LIFE can not continue on this path. NOW let me clarify my hubby is the BIGGEST help ever and I can easily ask my mother and brother for things ALL the time - hey they are my fam! However, with other friends and family I feel reluctant to ask for help. WHY you ask because I don't like to 1) need help 2) be a burden on others. So watch out people I am going to be asking for help!
So Tuesday you are doing wonders for me!! Watch out!!
However, something that isn't going to the waste side is my love for dressing nice. So despire the way I feel I atleast wanted to look nice. NOTE: I even curled my hair today but FAIL on that. The outfit is a dress from JC Penny and the belt is another wonderful birthday present from my BFF. I look a little down in the eyes - yikes.