Book Club

As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts I formed a list for self goals. Two of those goals I am so happy about. I joined a Book Club with longtime high school friends (recently reunited via Facebook :) ). We meet almost monthly and I have enjoyed the meetings along with the books so much. The other goal is trying to meet my 50 books this year. So far so good. I just finished book #29 and I have a stack waiting for me as well. I will be taking a few with me this weekend for the river!!

The last book that we read was "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson. It was AMAZING. I finished that book (it has over 500 pages) in about 3 or 4 sittings. I would have finished it earlier but my eyes started burning. This is not a typical book that I would read but once I got past the first few pages I couldn't put it down. It is a thriller, a romance (of sorts), a mystery and has a serial killer in it. The book kept you intrigued the entire time and when you thought there was no answer one appeared. Great job! I already have book #2 and #3 ordered!

A vent session

Well I just got off of the phone with Bank of the West - ahhhh.
My hubby and I recently just purchased a new vehicle - lets be honest his vehicle I have drove it once. It is his dream vehicle. 2010 fully loaded and 4x4. The only think I cared about was that is was white and not Chevy :)!
Well anyways we got a killer deal on it and the bank that gave us the lowest rate is Bank of the West. Well we got a letter in the mail saying that they do not send out ANY statements on the loan account so I go online sign up and wait for it to be active. I go online and the only thing that the website lists is the current principle balance. It doesn't show payments or how they were applied ANYTHING. So I call up the bank and they say they do not list history for short term loans and they also do not do statements. - WTH??? How am I suppose to monitor our account? How am I suppose to ensure that they are applying the payment correctly? How am I suppose to see the additional money I put with my payment is being applied to the principle?

After I am transferred to 3 departments with each one saying oh no we don't do that I finally get in touch with a (I want to say nice lady but she was actually very short with me) person that said oh yeah we supply one history statement each year free of charge. HOWEVER, it is only available after January of each year for the previous year and you have to call and request it. So my feeling is yes they do it but you have to ask and they give you the run around. Now I see why the interest rate is so low their service is too. So here I sit venting and putting a reminder in my calendar to call them January 4th - the day I return to work after the holiday!

To make my point even more crappy one person I talked to said oh if you open a checking account you can see the history. I was okay sign me up. I mailed them $100 and they opened a savings account instead of a checking account and BY the way you can't see the history even with the new account. To top it off they put a 10 day hold on my check for a $100 and it has already cleared my other bank account.
Man on man I just love Bank of the West!!!!

Girls night out at 30

Tonight I am heading out with my bff Erin to hangout. I called her this morning to confirm. She asked where are we going to dinner, I said " Um I have a gift certificate to BWW" she said hey we can go to the movies I have a gift certificate to Harkins. We both started laughing, what a long way from my first birthday we spent together in 2004. We actually had my birthday party at a bar in Chino. We even asked everyone to wear hot pink and black and we brought in balloons, cake and food for everyone. Now it is a dinner and movies because we have gift certificates. Life in your 30's is sooo different from your 20's!!!

However, despite the comic appeal our night has we are looking forward to it sooo much. An evening without the hubby and kids is a rarity. Spending time just the two of us is something I took for granted a little over 6 years ago. It use to be me and Erin for everything now we have to pencil in our time between: work, home, school, sports, exercise,etc...

So here is to a fun-filled night of being with my bff!!!

Ahhh officially 30!!!

Today was the day! It happened I let the 20's go and welcomed the 30's.

The day went great. My friends at work made me a cake! Kimmy is awesome. She asked me what cake I like best - I couldn't decide between lemon and strawberry. SO what did she do she did both but look at it!!! It came out so beautiful however the real surprise was when we cut it open. BUT before I get to that I have to tell you that this was the second cake because the first one did not come out perfectly. If you know Kimmy you know that she is a perfections and it has to be perfect which is great for me because I knew that the cake would test on so yummy!!! Well we cut that cake open for our morning snack ( don't think this one is on weight watchers but I didn't care you only turn 30 once)!.

Well to my surprise I got both cakes in one!
Man it was delicious. The two flavors together ahhh it was amazing. Everyone who tried it were really impressed! Thanks Kimmy!! My hubby was excited as well!!!

After cake I also received presents and was taken out to a very nice lunch at the Cheesecake Factory ~ however I was good there I didn't have any dessert!!!

I do want to say thank you to everyone who texted me, called me and facebooked me throughout the day with your happy birthday wishes. It truly made me feel very loved and special!!
I have to say the day at work flew by. It was 4:30 before I even realized it. I raced home and had my babies waiting for me! We were dressed and out the door to celebrate with my family. We went to my traditional place - Tokyo Kitchen. My mom, brother, Cy, my grandparents, my babies, my hubby, my sister Rachie, my cuz and Vanessa and my friend Matteo livened up the party even more. With great food, great laughs and a great time!!!!

I want to once again thank everyone for a great and special day. Turning 30 is just a chance for me to fully appreciate my life and to continue on this great path!! 

My birthday celebrating starts...

Today was a great relaxing day. We started it off with swimming at my grandparents. My babies are doing so good. My little girl wants to swim by herself (with floates) but nonetheless without mommy helping. At 21 months she is making me very proud. My brother and Cy came over as well. We even took the dogs for a dip.

After swimming for several hours we were heading home for nap time - as a parent one of the best times in a day :). My hubby went to help his sister move and I layed the babies down. The babies slept in the air conditioned house while I worked out in the "sauna" of a garage that we have. So in the 34 minutes that I worked out today I think I sweated the equivalent to over an hour!!

Then my pre birthday celebrating started. We met family for dinner at Zendajas (yummy veggie burrito). My sister in law brought me the most beautiful pink roses and everyone chipped in money for me to go and buy my spinning shoes (woo hoo - someone read one of my earlier blogs hehe )!!!

Then when we got home my hubby let me open my gifts early!! They bought me matching pj's and workout clothes!! I am so excited that I put a new set of the pj's on for tonight. Well I am off to bed and when I wake up tomorrow I will be the ripe ol' age of 30.
I am not afraid, scared or even worried about turning 30. I feel very blessed and happy about where I am in my life. I love hard, I play hard, I defend hard, I work hard!!!

Good night twenties and Good Morning thirties!!!!

The Day my babies walked down the aisle... as flower girl and ring bearer that is 7 17 10

Ahhh my babies are finally fast asleep after a fun family filled day. Today was the day that we got a new family member "officially". My brother-in-law found the women of his dreams and when he asked her to marry him he asked her to marry us all!!! Within this ceremony that asked if our two babies could be part of the celebration! I was EXCITED to say the least. Both of my babies in the wedding how beautiful!!

Of course being me I had to have us all match the wedding color scheme. HOT Pink and black!!!! Even my wonderful honey wore the HOT pink tie!

We had the rehearsal dinner on Thursday and we had the kids practice about 10 times by the end they did a great job! Today we got to the church a little early for practice OMG it didn't go well. Our baby girl was her typical self - running, screaming, throwing a fit right there in the middle of the floor. I was so worried. Let me tell you I used bribery, threat, reward anything I could think of to get her to act better. Well it came time for their big entrance. My hubby and brother-in-law were the individuals opening and closing the doors and they were prepping the babies. Well the doors opened... I turned to watch from my seat and they just stood there waiting, they were holding hands eager to go. As the music started they both walked slowly, no talking and held hands the entire time. IT WAS AMAZING!!! I started crying right away. They did soooooooo good, it took my breath away.

After the wedding the photographer came up to me and told me that they were the best she has ever seen, especially being as young as they are! That made for a VERY proud mom!!!!

After my babies opened up the show the event went beautifully. The bride came in so radiantly and the groom weeping with joy that the entire room could feel the love.

The ceremony was filled with love and faith! Items that will carry these two on for a lifetime!!

After being at the festivities (with no naps) for over 6 hours it was time to head home. As we pull in Alexee is sound asleep in the car BUT not in the house. They seem to have got another spurt of energy (dang power naps)! Finally about 9 we were able to put them to bed. ahhhh.

As I upload pictures, blog, shutterfly and facebook the night away my hubby is sitting next to me drinking the rest of my wine and watching a movie. Off to bed for us!!! Goodnight everyone



This idea is not all that hard for me to do (OK sometimes it is easier said then done!!), but I think that we all need to take a 2nd look as to what forgiveness is.


for·give·ness   /fərˈgɪvnɪs/ Show Spelled[fer-giv-nis] Show IPA


1. act of forgiving; state of being forgiven.

2. disposition or willingness to forgive.

I want to forgive everyone who has been mean to me, said mean things to me or about me, avoided me, stopped talking to me, been rude to me or others, mistreated me or my family, not loved my babies, not loved me, the list is endless. I forgive you!!!!

I hope that the individuals that I have done anything to, about, for or other will also forgive me. I am SORRY if anyone has been hurt by words, actions or lack of actions. I am human and make mistakes but being human also means that fessing up to the problem is a big step, correcting the step is even bigger!

Don't be blinded by forgiveness. Forgiveness is given but not forgotten. If people learn by the actions or lack of actions that caused the forgiveness to be needed it is worth doing.

I was listening to the radio today coming back from lunch and just laughed when I heard the below song. There are a few parts that caught my attention (highlighted in pink)!

Jaron Lowenstein song, Pray for You

I haven’t been to church since I don’t remember when

Things were going great til they fell apart again

So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do

He said you can’t go hatin’ others who have done wrong to you

Sometimes we get angry but we must not condemn

Let the good Lord do his job, you just pray for them

I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill

I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill

And knocks you in the head like I’d like to

I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls

I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls

I pray all your dreams never come true

Just know wherever you are, honey, I pray for you

I’m really glad I found my way to church

Cause I’m already feelin’ better and I thank God for the words

Yeah, I’m gonna take the high road and do what the preacher told me to do

You keep messin’ up, and I’ll keep prayin’ for you

I pray your tire goes out at 110

I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend

And wake up with his and her tattoos…

I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill

I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill

And knocks you in the head like I’d like to

I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls

I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls

I pray all your dreams never come true

Just know wherever you are, near or far

In your house or in your car

Wherever you are, honey, I pray for you

I pray for you

Fake it until ....

As a woman, wife, mother, worker at some point I have faked it. Faking it can be a good thing. I am not talking about a "fake" Gucci bag but more with emotions.  I don't need to elaborate the fake as a wife but as for the woman, mother and worker part I need to learn to embrace and enhance this quality.

I am feeling and have felt very bad in regards to a few family "lack of" relationships I have. Due to this I feel uncomfortable, upset or out of place at gatherings and I do not act like my normal happy, funny, loving person. So I want to FAKE my happiness when I am around them, hopefully if I FAKE it long enough we will MAKE it to the happiness phase or at least get along phase.

While at work my position makes it difficult to be liked by all - which is very hard for me. Even my boss told me the other day one of my problems is that I want everyone to like me (who doesn't want that???), however I told him I don't need to be liked by all but at least not treated bad (I thought that was a fair statement).

As for a mom you FAKE it all of the time. I FAKE that I am okay when they fall and hurt themselves, I FAKE it when I see them upset. I always put on a smile even if inside I am hurting with them or for them. As a mom you have to do what makes them feel the best.

Fake it until you make it....

The biggest problem with this theory is the fact that I have to be okay with it. I am an emotional thinker. I react from my emotions before I think about it. When I have time and think about it I might have handled the situation differently.

It is back to the notion that I can only control myself, my emotions, my ideas, my behavior.

So here, is to FAKING it until .....

Adventures of Exercise with Kimmy

Any of you that know me - know that I still want to lose more weight. I have decided that another 10 (15 if I am REALLY good) lbs off of me would be great. As you have seen I started spinning with my girlfriend Kimmy and we LOVE it. We actually finished up another hour today. However, working out with Kimmy is challenging to say the least. I work out with her and I am tired, sore, sweaty and the only thing I want to do when I get home is sleep - oh not her she actually goes home and exercises more (it drives me crazy because I don't have that same stamina or desire :( ). Well needless to say I love that she is willing to try and do exercise items with me. Our quest on this exercising started with us meeting I think maybe 1 or twice to jog at the local high school. We ran, walked, did sit ups for over an hour to say the least I was so proud of myself. Well the next day I was sore and proud of myself for working out then Kimmy told me yeah I went home and ran another XYZ. So apparently I was slowing her down. Lets check that off the list of not doing anymore.

We then tried an ab class and yoga. We went for about 4 weeks it went very well until in the yoga class a few ladies farted and Kimmy and I could not stop laughing. Man I think if we wouldn't have left they might have kicked us out for laughing so hard.

Next came hiking weekly at Mt. Rubidoux we even got our friend Jason to join in. The hiking lasted a few weeks until other plans got in the way. Well when we didn't pick up the hiking again we decided to try something else.

The something else was amazing - KRAV - MAGA. It was the most fun, self-protection and exercise I have every had. Kimmy found a deal for $40 for 1 month. This activity we went to between 1 - 4 times per week for four weeks. We included my mom and our friend Jason as well. We kicked, choked, grabbed, kicked, hit each other throughout the course. I could tell this class was toning my body and kept us interested. We even bought matching pink gloves - yet our hands still bled and got stretched up. The downside for this class was not only the 50 mile round trip drive to get to it but the cost. After the promotion it went up to $100 a month we all pasted on extending the sessions. I miss all of the class but hope I took all of the self-defense training with me.

On to the next adventure.... HOT YOGA. What was Kimmy thinking (all her idea I tell you :) )! For $20 you get 7 days of HOT YOGA. Now I am up to try it but we walk in there and oh man. We were both sweating so much and people get into that stuff. We both barely made it out alive. Needless to say this was a NO and we only went that one time.

Now on to our current activity. The spinning classes. I actually have taken these before at the gym I belonged to a few years back. My hubby and I would actually go to the gym about 6am 3 - 4 times a week to spin. It was a great class. However, life happens and you cut back and how can I go to the gym that early with 2 kids at home????

I have drove by the Pedal Spin Studio so many times and said "Oh I should really call about that" and I kept not doing it. Finally my hubby got on the website and found out that the first class was free - that got my attention! I asked Kimmy and off we went. We were hooked after the first class. That night we bought 10 more sessions each. We have gone to 4 classes and each class is different but is keeping our attention and hopefully shaping our butts!!!!

I enjoy it so much I am asking for the click in shoes for my bday! If anyone reads this make sure you send that info to my hubby hehe :)

Also, just to ensure I keep up with my goal I also workout in my garage on the elliptical - not as much fun especially in this heat but at least a cheap local exercise venue!

Good night everyone I am off to count sheep - i hope

July 12th, 2010

Right now I am sitting here enjoying the company of my hubby and DVR. We are catching up on a lot of shows that we just never have time to watch. Tonight the babies are spending the night with nana and papa.

But before I started my night in front of the DVR I spent a day at work that just didn't seem productive at all. I mean I worked yet the projects just didn't get finished and I hate that. After work Kimmy and I hit the spinning studio again. WOW our instructor was awesome today. As we finished our 1 hour session tonight we both said "Hey wonder how much those click in shoes cost?". 

Well I have been searching all over the Internet and guess what these suckers are at least $100 bucks. So do I ask for them for my bday? or should I get clothes??? Dang it!!!!

While online I also went shopping online at if you haven't went to it check it out. They have great items, including great holiday decorations. I just bought 2 items for my every growing thanksgiving collection. Well this one can be used for two holidays :) win win for me.

So i guess I just spent my $100 bucks on holiday decorations - just great.

Well I am off to enjoy the rest of my shows and hope I don't spend anymore money hehe :)

A list

I wanted to end my night with talking POSITIVE about myself and what I have, what I look forward to, how I can grow.

Please don't take this as bragging but take this as myself finally thinking positive about myself and accomplishments instead of dwelling on things that are uncontrollable. 
I am a person that craves attention and praise but when I get it I become shy and just brush it off.

After reading the great words of Shellee I feel even more confident about where I want to go and how I want to cherish every piece that I have.

- Two of the most wonderful children
- A great husband
- My health
- My family
- Amazing Friends
- A career
- A home
- Credit Card debt free
- A little bit of savings
- A Plan
- Life insurance policies (can you tell that I am almost hitting 30 hehe )

- Become more fit
- Become more knowledgeable in anything, everything
- Find spiritual/religion base
- Enjoy the happiness I have and not let it be shadowed by the small imperfections
- Be less controlling - I control only myself and my emotions and actions not others
- Be accepting of who people are

This is merely the start of what I have, want and plan to do. I know when I set my mind on something I will achieve it. I am learning everyday how to appreciate people and how to also appreciate myself. Letting the hurt and anger go will benefit all.

LETTING GO of things I can not control

Why am I here??

Today I woke up early (babies are at nana's) to start a pot of homemade white bean chili - yummy! I am sitting here eating it and thinking it is HOT (to much peppers) hope it speeds up the metabolism! Then off to work I went. Work went be very fast and semi-productive. I had projects finished them (or I thought) and went on. At 5 minutes before I needed to leave for my spinning class my boss sends me a long laundry list of items to modify on one of my projects, looks like I will be working this weekend! woo hoo! Well I did make it to my spinning class (and my a** thanks me hehe ).

Kimmy and I had a different instructor today and she was great - I can feel it for sure! Well during our class she said, "Why are you here?" I know she meant to work out, tone, sweat, cardio. However being me I took it on a life size scale.

Why am I here??

Mother - yes nurture, take care of all of their needs, hold them, cry with them, laugh with them, play with them, be silly.

Wife - nurture, take care of him, financial duties, laundry, dinners,

I am sure you see where this list is going.

But the common element is me, when it comes to my family, friends, co-workers, even strangers and that is to be the nurturer, helper, solver of everything. So what happens when that role is not accepted by others??? In my case I tried harder, did more, helped more, begged for more and in a few cases it sent me into a state of misery because those people would not accept me.

How do I go on when my role doesn't work? Why am I here? I struggle with this. Less frequently then in the past but it still rears its ugly head.

I need help, suggestions on how to let this go but with still "me" in tact.

To know me is to LOVE me and my brain jumps around all of the time. However, with this blog I want to always leave on a good note. I exercised today, I cooked today, I finished another book (Tori Spellings newest one) and my babies are on their way home!!!

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend and GIVE ME SOME ADVICE :)

A little bit of bettering the body today

Well today I went to a PedalSpin class with Kimmy. It was amazing. The first class if free at Pedal Spin Studio. Then we were offered a 10% discount for signing up today. 20 visits (that we are sharing) for only $94.50 each! We are excited. I hope to get more in shape, toned and oh yeah get rid of some fat on my thighs, butt, legs, I can just keep on going on the areas I would like to get toned!! This class is the perfect thing to get me ready for the river and my 30th bday that is approaching very fast.

On that note - I am not afraid, scared or even worried about turning 30 and I will tell everyone who asks my real age however what I can't grasp is how fast 30 came. I can remember being 8 and my brother being born, I can remember hitting 16 and driving and then all of a sudden I am married with two kids, a full time career, mortgages and car payments, when did all of that happen???? I have loved (almost) every moment but not a single regret!

With my trying to get my body, soul and mind centered I have a lot of work and fun to do. Body is the easiest one to come up with but one of the hardest ideas to stick to. As for the soul that is taking oh so much more energy, time and concentration. As for the mind - I am working on that too. Books of all kinds, school to improve my knowledge at work, my great understanding and available family and friends that I chat with, along with my therapist (love her)!!!

Well enough jibber jabber today I am off to read to my babies then read myself!

Good night

July 6, 2010

What a day. I wish I could have stayed at home and slept in or just maybe not even got out of my pajamas, but that didn't happen. Work was work - nothing drastic today to note.

As for our home life. I had a great day with my babies. My hubby was coming home late so I made homemade pizza and cut up about 4 lbs of strawberries for this week. After we ate I took the kids outside to play - they crack me up. Running, racing, playing with the dogs and my boy is always ready to play baseball!! While we were outside playing on the slide my son was on the ground wrestling with our dog Chance and all of a sudden he said "Momma broken heart". What did he say?? Well he held out his little hand and what do I see - my broken heart necklace that I use to wear as a child that I gave to baby girl (which broke about 1 month ago outside and we couldn't find it). There is was laying in his hand. I was so excited!!! He was so proud to give it to me and give me a high five! Thank heaven for little boys :)

Well outside playtime means baths for the babies. Gave them both a bath and was getting bubba all lotioned up - guess what happens next??? Little miss prissy is jumping on her bed - as I tell her get down. Well she jumps again hits her mouth on the end of the bed - blood everywhere. She is screaming and bleeding I have a 1/2 naked son running around and I just hold her and a towel to her face. The non-paniced mom comes out and it is a "ice-cream" party in the living room on a towel with two naked kids while she sucks on the Popsicle to hopefully make her mouth feel better. That lasts about the entire Popsicle and she is still bleeding but not as fussy. I am a little afraid to see what the lip looks like in the morning. This behavior is another sign that she is my hubby's child - clumsy :)

Well today I am skipping my elliptical workout because I signed up for a free spinning class tomorrow. If  I like I am signing up for 10 visits and running or biking with it hehe :)

Good night everyone and talk to you again

July 5th, 2010

WHAT A weekend!! It was great. A lot of relaxing and family/friend time. Friday started off with a nice dinner at home with my hubby and kiddos. Saturday we just relaxed all day at home until we meet up for our closest friend Jennifer's birthday dinner. We originally were going to go to Buffalo Wild Wings (my favorite but her choice hehe :)) however when we got there they wanted to charge each person $5 just for being there because of the UFC fight. So her hubby made mass calls and changed the venue to JoJo's pizza (it was amazing food). While we smashed in 20 people into a semi-booth I set there laughing because me with two kids stuck in the middle meant bad placement. My kids had to go to the bathroom ummm idk 20 times so I had to have people move - you would think by know I would understand this or pre-think - nahhh maybe this time I will learn :)!

As for Sunday July 4th - it was amazing. We had all of our family and close friends over for a BBQ and swimming (at my grandparents). Our son is a FISH. He wants to be in the water the entire time as for baby girl its growing on her. We were in the water, sun and enjoying food and me loving my wine :) until 8 o clock - to say by the time we got home I was exhausted and think fully so where the babies because we were all out my 10 I think.

Today was the ultimate relax, recoup and do nothing day. I didn't brush my teeth or hair until about 4 pm and I only did that because I had to go get groceries so my babies could eat. I remember when it was just me and Erin living together and we were lucky to have a lemon, bottled water and a jar of mustard!

Along the lines of relaxing I was able to fit in two naps and finish my book for my book club meeting in a few weeks - it was a great book "If I stay" by Gayle Foreman.

Well everyone I wish this extended weekend could stretch even further but I am off to workout! Here is to FINALLY losing that 15 lbs.

Good night